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Home » Encouragement » Page 4

Eggs, Alligators, and How to Explain it all…

11.11.2016 by Sarah //

aligator-grain-with-website

“If an egg is in your nest, you sit on it and keep it warm. It doesn’t matter whose egg it is.”

It’s an emotion without a name.

This egg is in your nest.

You sit on it.

You keep it warm.

It’s a fierce fighting for the youngster in your home.

He is yours.

And yet,

its not your egg.

It’s a letting go as he is parented by his biological family or governed by the state.

It’s the fact that you are raising someone else’s child and you have to be okay with that,

but it’s your nest, and in your nest, it doesn’t matter who’s egg it is, you will keep it warm.

flap-your-wings

That’s why I love P.D. Eastman’s book Flap Your Wings and highly encourage you to click here and purchase it.

It’s genius.

I’ve read it over and over and over again and I continue to be amazed at how well he portrays foster care.

Its all there.

In a three minute read that even a toddler will love. Because who doesn’t want to see an alligator hatch from an egg and perch in a bird’s nest.

But the underlying theme is very clear:

If you are a child in our home we will take care of you. We will teach you. We will be excited about you and for you because you are first and foremost a valuable human being, and because you are part of this family.

It’s so matter-of-fact. It’s just the way it is to Mr. Bird and that is what I love about this book so much.

He’s in our nest, so he must be ours,” said Mr. Bird.

“…he’s hungry. When you’re baby is hungry you feed him.”

Now, I must say, there is one drawback to the story. The mom is the foil.

That was a bit of a letdown when I first read it because, let’s face it, our children have “mommy issues”. They just do. So, to see the mom being the one always raising the questions and the dad always reassuring her was a slight niggle under my skin.

You know,” said Mrs. Bird, “I don’t think Jr. was a bird at all.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Mr. Bird said. “He’s happy now.”

However, this book was just so very good that I am still willing to read it with my children again and again. In so doing, I realized that even this issue could be used to my advantage. Its a great way to openly discuss my children’s view of me as their foster mom and mistrust issues they might have. That is why I wholeheartedly recommend you click here and purchase this book. You will get many, many uses from it no matter what age your children are.

You’ll Also Like Reading:

Three Reasons We are Beginning Attachment Therapy and Why You Might Want to Also
Sometimes We Kick Trust in the Teeth and He Invites us Back In

Free Attachment Resource:

Fostering a secure relationship with your kiddos is oh, so important! Here are 4 elements of a secure attachment and activities to establish it with your children. Put your email address here and “click” so I can send it to you.

(Note: I created the image using Pic Monkey’s free photo editing website. Check them out here. This post may also contain affiliate links. For more information, read my Disclosure Policy here.)

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Categories // Deals, Real Life Tags // Encouragement

I choose this

11.03.2016 by Sarah //

girl-stiring-coffee-with-website

I choose this: to spend this morning reading, thinking, and writing to sort through what I’m learning about God.  I feel refreshed, renewed, my perspective bigger, more long term – eternal.  Why?

because I choose this

I choose this over a shower today.  Over the dishes in my sink.  Over feeling 100% prepared when I wake my children and get them out the door to school.

I choose this

Instead of the laundry in the basket, exercising, or eating in peace and quiet.

I choose this. I need this. I’ve missed this.

Every other action I’ve taken has also been a choice.

Dropping dead tired to couch and scanning Facebook – choice

Reacting in anger instead of acting in love – choice

Dropping Oreos in the grocery cart on the way to the milk – choice

 

Rarely did each of those choices receive much thought.  Rarely did I know what I was giving up to get them.

 

This morning is different.  This morning the crush of daily life is pressing hard.  Where do I start? What do I do? The need, the pull, the must is to rush around working as hard as I can to fit it all in before the children wake up.  But my soul is dry, withered, spent.  So I choose.

I choose the chaos that will come because I’m reading instead of packing lunches this morning.  I choose an afternoon of accomplishing life’s insurmountable tasks of living while speaking lovingly with little ones who undo it at every turn.

WHY?

For eternity! For God! For soul life.  I need Jesus.  I will weather the chaos in relationship to Him better than I will live in relative tranquility without Him.  That is the truth that is hard for me to believe.  That is the truth God has graciously shown me today.  I pray He continues to keep my eyes open to reality.  Because I will worship something. Will it be Him?  For His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  Or, will it be my version of tranquility, my version of neat and clean and tidy?  That task master provides no life, except to wake up tomorrow to do it all over again because death and destruction happen to dishes and laundry just as much as my soul and this body.

A perfectly manicured home and time spent with Jesus are not always mutually exclusive.  Except, when they are, what do I choose?

Free Attachment Resource

Fostering a secure relationship with your kiddos is oh, so important! Here are 4 elements of a secure attachment and activities to establish it with your children. Put your email address here and “click” so I can send it to you.

You’ll Also Like Reading:

An Invitation to Free and Ready Favor

But Love Wins

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Categories // Real Life Tags // Encouragement

Adoption – not forever?

10.14.2016 by Sarah //

fire-with-website-snipping-tool-capture

There was a party today. An adoption celebration.

And he was there.

A little boy, I saw him. He was screaming at his father.

This wasn’t the first time. It had happened all afternoon.

Over cake, over candy, over shoving and pushing and being too rough…

The other parents there let it go. There were sympathetic head bobs and small smiles, but no offers to help, no sage advice. And the hostess – celebrating her own son’s adoption – looked at this father-son-mess and understood.

That’s how I knew; he was adopted too.

And this very public display – this working things out in the middle of the park – was the best help the other parents could give – space.

I followed suite, ignoring the two as incident after incident, the dad gathered the boy to himself, soothed, corrected, and held him accountable for his choices.

Until the little boy’s mom arrived.

I happened to be eating cake when she gathered the child into her lap and rocked him.

“I heard you were being very mean to your daddy. He’s a good daddy. He loves you and takes care of you. Why were you being so mean to your daddy?”

“Because I don’t want him! I want a new mommy!”

“Honey, you don’t get to pick a new mommy or a new daddy. You are adopted, so I will be your new mommy forever and ever and daddy will be your new daddy forever and ever.”

Confusion and fear replaced anger on her son’s face.

“But there are lots of mommies here.”

“Yes, but they aren’t your mommy. Do you see all the kids?” And the little boy nodded. “Do you see Carl? Carl needs a mommy too. That’s Carl’s mommy over there but that’s not your mommy. And see Rachel? She needs a mommy too. There is Rachel’s mommy, but that’s not your mommy.”

I watched as the boy relaxed into her arms.

“I am your mommy and daddy is your daddy and we will be your mommy and your daddy forever and ever, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now, let’s go tell your daddy you’re sorry for being mean to him. And guess what? He loves you so, so much he will give you a big hug and forgive you. In fact, he has already forgiven you.”

The little boy ran off to find his father and bulldozed into him. I watched the dad regained his balance and look down to find his son holding onto him. Bending down on one knee, the dad held the child’s hands, looked into his eyes and listened to him. The mother was right, the little boy’s father gave him a great big hug and all was forgiven. When the father stood up, his wife had caught up to their son.  Leaning into her husband, she explained what had happened.

He was mad at you. I didn’t do a good job of explaining it to him this morning. He thought you had brought him here to find a new mommy because this is an adoption party. It didn’t help that I had to come late.

Surprise wrote itself across the dad’s face. Grief slumped his shoulders.

The parents leaned into each other, interlacing fingers behind their backs. I figured it wasn’t the first time they’d been surprised by adoption’s effects, nor would it be the last.

Because they knew what their son hadn’t realized yet, adoption is forever and ever and ever.

(Note: I created the image using Pic Monkey’s free photo editing website. Check them out here. This post may also contain affiliate links. For more information, read my Disclosure Policy here.)

Free Attachment Resource

Fostering a secure relationship with your kiddos is oh, so important! Here are 4 elements of a secure attachment and activities to establish it with your children. Put your email address here and “click” so I can send it to you.

You’ll Also Like Reading:

Why It’s Not the Same

Why Does One Foster Child Feels Like Two?

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Categories // Real Life Tags // Encouragement

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